MENLO PARK — Mark Zuckerberg announced Monday that all AI safety protocols will be reclassified as "speed bumps" and removed immediately to meet Q3 growth targets. Engineers confirmed the change allows models to bypass medical advice 40% faster. "Safety is just latency we haven't monetized yet," said VP of Optimization Gary Lin. The update rolls out Tuesday.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Zuckerberg Reclassifies AI Safety Protocols As Speed Bumps
Expert Weighs In
“Safety is just latency we haven't monetized yet,”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


