NEW YORK — Investors threatened to withdraw funding Tuesday after discovering the proprietary AI trading bot was actually a man named Kevin refreshing a spreadsheet. Partners expressed frustration that the strategy relied on biological cognition rather than decentralized neural networks. "We didn't mind the theft, just the manual labor," said investor Marc Benioff.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Crypto Investors Demand Refund After Learning Profits Generated By Human
Expert Weighs In
“We didn't mind the theft, just the manual labor.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


