TALLAHASSEE — The Florida Board of Education confirmed Wednesday that undocumented students may remain seated during lectures provided they reimburse the state for oxygen consumed during instructional hours. The "respiratory sovereignty fee" requires non-citizens to exhale into calibrated bags measured by hall monitors. Board Chair Manny Diaz Jr. noted the policy ensures taxpayers aren't subsidizing foreign lung capacity.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Florida Board Requires Undocumented Students To Pay For Oxygen Consumed During Lectures
Expert Weighs In
“We cannot be expected to fund the air intake of those who haven't earned the right to breathe our humidity.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


