WASHINGTON — The White House announced Tuesday that all foreign aid packages will now include a mandatory 20% gratuity fee payable directly to the President's personal crypto wallet. Officials clarified that withholding the tip may result in immediate missile embargo. "It's just standard service industry protocol for nuclear deterrence," said National Security Advisor Mike Waltz. NATO allies reportedly switched to cash to avoid transaction fees.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

White House Adds Mandatory Gratuity Line To Foreign Aid Bills
Expert Weighs In
“It's just standard service industry protocol for nuclear deterrence.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


