WASHINGTON — The Department of Defense began mailing itemized protection invoices to Latin American capitals Tuesday, formalizing the renewed Monroe Doctrine as a mandatory subscription service. Officials noted spending lapses trigger automatic intervention clauses. "We view sovereignty as a tiered package," said Undersecretary Alan Kress. "Basic includes no invasions. Premium removes tariffs."
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Pentagon Invoices Latin American Nations For Continued Non-Interference
Expert Weighs In
“We view sovereignty as a tiered package. Basic includes no invasions. Premium removes tariffs.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


