WASHINGTON — The FDA announced recalled romaine poses no threat to uninsured citizens. Officials noted that without access to emergency rooms, the parasite naturally expels itself within days. "It's a self-limiting condition for the bankrupt," said Commissioner Robert Califf. Produce sales remained stable across discount retailers.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
FDA Declares Contaminated Lettuce Safe For Uninsured Consumers
Expert Weighs In
“It's a self-limiting condition for the bankrupt”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
