WASHINGTON — Speaker Mike Johnson confirmed Thursday that all future scriptural references must be cleared by House Communications to ensure alignment with polling data. The Ethics Committee will review parables for partisan viability before public recitation. "We can't have the Beatitudes interfering with the midterm strategy," said Press Secretary Emily Carter.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Speaker Johnson Mandates All Biblical Citations Be Pre-Approved By Communications Director
Expert Weighs In
“We can't have the Beatitudes interfering with the midterm strategy”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


