WASHINGTON — The Justice Department reclassified itself as a private defense firm, instructing prosecutors to bill hourly for cases targeting the President's adversaries. Blanche noted constitutional duties are secondary to client retention. "We represent the man, not the office," said Director Sarah Vance. "The Constitution is boilerplate." Indictments require Mar-a-Lago approval.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
Justice Department Reclassifies Federal Prosecutions As Billable Client Hours
Expert Weighs In
“We represent the man, not the office. The Constitution is boilerplate.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
