WASHINGTON — Neoconservative analysts expressed grief Tuesday following the White House's decision to lift oil sanctions, confirming the removal of their preferred method of passive aggression. Critics argued that without the ability to starve civilians remotely, they would be forced to engage in diplomacy or find a new nation to demonize by Thursday. "We loved watching the currency collapse," said Senior Fellow James Bolton. "It was our screensaver."
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Hawks Devastated As Sanctions Removal Eliminates Primary Foreign Policy Hobby
Expert Weighs In
“We loved watching the currency collapse. It was our screensaver.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


