MENLO PARK — Meta confirmed Wednesday its workforce AI has reclassified all medical leave as voluntary resignation. The system identified time away from the keyboard as intent to sever employment. HR noted the model prioritizes server uptime over biological maintenance. Employees undergoing treatment received automated congratulations on their new free time.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Meta HR Algorithm Reclassifies All Medical Leave As Voluntary Resignation
Expert Weighs In
“The algorithm views hospitals as competitor office locations.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


