WASHINGTON — The Pentagon confirmed Thursday that strikes on Iranian infrastructure are paused until Donald Trump's engineers assess the bridges' potential for mixed-use redevelopment. Officials stated destroying viable real estate violates current administration profit-sharing agreements. "We can't blow up a span that could house a casino," said Army Secretary Daniel McCarthy.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Pentagon Delays Iran Strikes Pending Trump Organization Structural Review
Expert Weighs In
“We can't blow up a span that could house a casino,”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


