MOSCOW — The Kremlin unveiled a monthly subscription service allowing billionaires to retain assets in exchange for wire transfers to Vladimir Putin's shell company. The 'Platinum Patriot' plan guarantees immunity from nationalization audits for thirty days. "It functions like any other insurance policy," said Finance Minister Anton Siluanov. "Except the insurer is the person seizing your property."
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Kremlin Launches 'Protection Subscription' For Oligarchs Wanting To Keep Their Money
Expert Weighs In
“It functions like any other insurance policy. Except the insurer is the person seizing your property.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


